THE ASSANGE CASE PARODY (2019 Satire / Cabaret)
00:00 Hello I am from the British Government with a fabulous announcement
00:04 No I’m sorry, we still haven’t sorted out this bleeding shitshow
00:07 But we have finally managed to arrest our most wanted criminal
00:10 No the other one: WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange
00:14 Once we’re done we’ll extradite his skippy arse off to Virginia to face a grand jury
00:20 Coz we’re America’s bitch. Yeah baby.
00:23 We’d like to thank all who aided us in this operation especially the Ecuadorian Government
00:28 Hola, I’m from the Ecuadorian Government and I’m here to confirm that our new President
00:32 is America’s bitch too
00:34 That is why he agreed to cancel hairy hacker’s political asylum
00:37 and let pigs enter our embassy to arrest him 00:40 (Can we have our IMF loan now please?)
00:44 Hello I’m from the Australien Government
00:46 Since Mr Assange is our citizen, we feel compelled to state in the strongest possible terms that
00:52 We are America’s bitch too
00:54 That’s why both of these bungstains will leave him up shit creek without a paddle
00:58 After all, we’re the same dickholes who are prosecuting whistleblowers
01:01 and banning encryption to make it harder for journalists to expose our shitfuckery
01:05 Hello, I’m from the US Government. We’re grateful to all our bitches.
01:10 for handing over David Letterman. I mean Julian Assange.
01:13 Who is wanted on charges of making us look like war criminals. Which of course we are.
01:18 We have indicted the accused for the crime of helping his source to anonymously
01:22 access documents in the public interest. Otherwise known as: GOOD JOURNALISM
01:27 Journalists of course are not supposed to be good
01:30 They’re meant to be piss-weak unquestioning stenographers who publish what we tolerate
01:35 By extraditing a foreign journalist, we hope to send a clear warning to all journalists:
01:40 not to mess with our shit
01:42 We ask all of you to cooperate with us in setting this dangerous precedent
01:46 by focusing on how the accused is a bit of an asshole
01:49 instead of our attempts to destroy your press freedom
01:52 American Empire. Authorised by the United Bitches of America.
P E T I T I O N
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