THE ASSANGE CASE PARODY (2019 Satire / Cabaret)
00:00 Hello I am from the British Government with a fabulous announcement 00:04 No I’m sorry, we still haven’t sorted out this bleeding shitshow 00:07 But we have finally managed to arrest our most wanted criminal 00:10 No the other one: WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange 00:14 Once we’re done we’ll extradite his skippy arse off to Virginia to face a grand jury 00:20 Coz we’re America’s bitch. Yeah baby. 00:23 We’d like to thank all who aided us in this operation especially the Ecuadorian Government 00:28 Hola, I’m from the Ecuadorian Government and I’m here to confirm that our new President 00:32 is America’s bitch too 00:34 That is why he agreed to cancel hairy hacker’s political asylum 00:37 and let pigs enter our embassy to arrest him 00:40 (Can we have our IMF loan now please?) 00:44 Hello I’m from the Australien Government 00:46 Since Mr Assange is our citizen, we feel compelled to state in the strongest possible terms that 00:52 We are America’s bitch too 00:54 That’s why both of these bungstains will leave him up shit creek without a paddle 00:58 After all, we’re the same dickholes who are prosecuting whistleblowers 01:01 and banning encryption to make it harder for journalists to expose our shitfuckery 01:05 Hello, I’m from the US Government. We’re grateful to all our bitches. 01:10 for handing over David Letterman. I mean Julian Assange. 01:13 Who is wanted on charges of making us look like war criminals. Which of course we are. 01:18 We have indicted the accused for the crime of helping his source to anonymously 01:22 access documents in the public interest. Otherwise known as: GOOD JOURNALISM 01:27 Journalists of course are not supposed to be good 01:30 They’re meant to be piss-weak unquestioning stenographers who publish what we tolerate 01:35 By extraditing a foreign journalist, we hope to send a clear warning to all journalists: 01:40 not to mess with our shit 01:42 We ask all of you to cooperate with us in setting this dangerous precedent 01:46 by focusing on how the accused is a bit of an asshole 01:49 instead of our attempts to destroy your press freedom 01:52 American Empire. Authorised by the United Bitches of America.
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